"I'm worried about talking to her."

Question

I don't really know what to do! Me and my friend a really close friend were like the bestest of friend last year! She stood with me whenever I had a problem. She's a grade behind me and I get how she has other friends and all but suddenly this year she is ignoring me completely. No heads up or anything. I don't know if I got her mad or if she just doesn't want to be friends anymore but I really want to know why we ARNT friends anymore! I'm worried about talking to her.

Réponse de l'intervenant

I’m so glad you posted this question. Friendships can be complicated. I'm glad you know that this is a safe place to talk about how you are feeling. It sounds like this friend is very special to you, (does she know this?) and this sudden change has you wondering about a few things. Did I hear this right? It sounds like you see talking to her as a way to figure this out. And wow, I have to say that is very mature of you. Talking/communication in general are important in most relationships. You shared that you are worried though about doing this. I’m curious what are you worried about? What do you think might happen? If you do decide that you want to talk to her about this, and try to find out what is happening. A suggestion I have would be to try using “I statements” something like “I feel ……. " For example, “ “ I feel like we don’t spend time together anymore, did something happen?” What would be an “I” statement that could work for you…. We have a section on our website about friendships, have you had a chance to take a look at it. http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/InfoBooth/Friendship.aspx I also want you to know, that you can always call us ok. Maybe you could even practice how you want to bring this up with her. A counsellor could help you with that. I hope this message receives you well……take care.