"I'm a biromantic asexual."

Question

Okay, so I've been pretty sure of my sexual and romantic orientation for a while now. It's not a very common one and at first I was self conscious about it, but I'm sort of coming to accept it. I'm a biromantic asexual. I like girls and guys, but only in a romantic way (NOT sexual) in case you need to know, I'm not opposed to sensual activity. I have already told a few people from school that are close to me and, for the most part, they're pretty supportive. The only problem is I haven't told my family. This is for several reasons. First, I don't know how they will react. My parents may be okay with it but they probably won't understand because I'm only young and they'll think it's a phase. My siblings will definitely think that it's weird because they are younger and don't understand same-sex relationships. Another reason why I am weary about coming out to my family is that I don't want to be bombarded with questions - especially irrelevant ones like "where did you find these terms" or "who do like". I don't want to have to explain the whole thing because I always have a lot of trouble discussing personal topics, like this one. The last reason is, simply, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to start or how to explain or anything. I have been thinking about coming out to my family for a while and I'm not sure what I should do I just want to be loved and accepted for who I really am.

Réponse de l'intervenant

In coming out to your family and friends you are asking to be loved and accepted for all that you are. It takes great courage to show our true self. How courageous you are?. Our sexuality and orientation is very personal which is partly why coming out can feel difficult and especially with family. Would it help to bring up this conversation in general terms first? You could ask your parents if they know what biromantic asexual means and/or if they have heard of this? In this way you are giving them some information and time to consider this before telling them about yourself. What do you think? If not this way then you can tell them that you have something very personal to discuss about yourself and ask that they be open to what you are saying. In this way they are somewhat prepared and ready to really listen. It would be natural for them to ask you questions. This would be a good sign that they have heard you and are interested in knowing more about this experience and you. If answering is uncomfortable you can let them know and agree to talk again. Would directing them to an appropriate resource be helpful? If you think so you can look at our website and find some information for them. Depending on how young your siblings are it might not make sense to tell them right away you could certainly discuss this with your parents. If your parents are supportive they can help you tell your siblings and they of course will understand as much as their age will allow. If your parents think this is a phase then it might be that they simply need time to adjust to what you are telling them after all you have had time to accept this in yourself. Here is a link offering information on coming out; kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/InfoBooth/LGBTQ/GenderIdentity/Coming-out.aspx You can call us anytime at Kids Help Phone, 1-800-668-6868, we are available 24 hrs, and we are completely confidential We are here to support you Take Care