"I suspect she is cheating on me and she wont respond to my texts…"

Question

Hi, ive been dating my girlfriend for 3 months now and she seems very distanced towards me, i suspect she is cheating on me and she wont respond to my texts, i dont know what to make of it, ive asked her if she still loved me and she said yes but i dont know what to believe now, how can i figure out if i should date her any more?

Réponse de l'intervenant

From what you’ve described, it sounds like you are worried about whether or not your girlfriend is cheating on you. I’m hearing that she’s been acting differently towards you (re: distant, not responding to texts, …) and this is making you feel suspicious. When we are in a situation where we cannot predict what’s happening or what’s going to happen, it can make us feel not only worried, but scared and really concerned. You have every right to feel this way because this is an unknown. The unknowns are something we do not have control over. It sounds like you are not sure whether or not to continue dating your girlfriend, even though she has told you she loves you. I’m wondering what can help you get some answers to this question of why she’s acting differently around you now? Let’s talk about communication. Communication means sharing your thoughts, feelings, and ideas. It means being open and working together to solve problems. Communicating can also mean learning to agree to disagree sometimes and respecting each other opinions even if you don’t always agree with them or see things from their perspective. What else do you think can come from communicating your feelings to your girlfriend? When/if you decide to talk to your girlfriend, I would like to suggest for you to use “I” statements to tell her how her actions/behaviours make you feel. Here’s how it works (fill in the blanks): “I feel blank when blank happens. I need you to blank OR “I feel blank when blank happens. I want this, blank, to happen When/if you decide to approach her, I want to encourage you to approach her when you and your girlfriend are feeling calm. When you and your girlfriend are feeling calm/relaxed/not stressed, it can help you both to listen to each other and hear what the other person has to say. By communicating, you and your girlfriend can possibly (1) clear up any misunderstandings (2) work on the relationship to make it better + stronger, if that is something you both want, (3) realize that the relationship has changed and make the difficult decision to end the relationship, for now. Here are some links that might be helpful in terms of communicating and relationships: - Communicating: au.reachout.com/Tips-for-communicating - Healthy relationship: kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/healthy_relationship.html - 5 ways to respectfully disagree: kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/tips_disagree.html - Talking to parents/adult (this can be used for others as well): kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/Parents/talk_to_parents.html I hope this response is helpful. Please call/chat with us some more about this, okay? Until next time,