"I spend recess by myself in the library, and lunch all by myself."

Question

It's in the midle of the school year at a new school, and I still haven't made any friends. I've tried to but then after one day they ask me to go somewhere els(I literally tried the whole grade but they all have there own friends). So now I spend recess by myself in the library, and lunch all by myself. What do I do???:'(

Réponse de l'intervenant

Changing schools AND starting the school year in the middle of the year can be really tough. I hear you’re feeling lonely and I think it’s okay to feel this way if you’ve been finding it really tough to make new friends. I think making friends can be really tough…and it takes time to make friends. Once you have made friends, friendships can change and/or grow just as you grow and change as well. It sounds like you are trying your very best to get to know people in your grade, but you haven’t been able to make a new friend. I’m curious. Have you had friends in your old school? - If yes, what kind of things did you do to make friends with your old friends? Do you think you can use this approach to get to know people at your new school and make friends? - If you haven’t been able to make friends before, can you think of what got in the way? Can you think of ways you can approach people in your school to get to know them better? Just something to think about. People tend to make friends with people who live close to them or with people who share similar interests. Can you think of ways you can make friends? Some ways that come to my mind are: - Joining school clubs/extracurricular activities/social groups (ones that you are interested in!) can allow you to meet new people who like the things you like. - Being approachable can also play a big part in making friends. This means, be the kind of person/friend you hope to have (for example, being friendly, smiling, saying hi, being kind, etc.). - Reach out to someone that you would like to be friends with by: saying hi, making eye contact, showing interest in their daily events (“How was your weekend?”), finding things you have in common with her/him. - Getting to know your community. How about reaching out and participating in activities in your neighbourhood/community as a way to get to know other people? For example, you can join clubs in your city/town, become a volunteer, dog (/animal)-sit, dog walk. These can be another way you can meet other people your age who share similar interests. What do you think? In the meantime, you might find these links on “making friends” helpful: kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/InfoBooth/Friendship/Making-friends.aspx; au.reachout.com/What-makes-a-good-friend Remember, Friendship is like planting a seed that you’ve found! You are not quite sure what is going to come up from under the soil…so you have to watch it carefully and look after it with a lot of patience and kindness. Maybe it won’t grow…even after putting in your best effort. Maybe it will only grow into a weak flower and you have to let it go. Maybe with all the patience and kindness you have shown it, it will help it to grow strong and become a flower that will continue to grow bigger and better as time passes. …the hardest part about making friends is that we can’t predict if the friend we make (seed) will blossom into a true friend who likes us for who we are…someone who can continue to be our friend. As long as you keep having that patience and being the kind person you are, one of these days you may start to make new friends who like you for the person you truly are! I hope this is helpful! Please call/chat with us to talk more about this or something else, okay? Until next time,