"Everyone is acting like a huge JERK…"

Question

Dear reader, I remember the old days in grade 1 where nobody gives a DAMN what gender you are, they don't give a DAMN if you don't have muscles and they RESPECT you no matter who you are. Which is the problem in grade 6, basically I get you go through puberty and stuff I have gone through it and it sucks. And I understand many people like showing how they got muscles cuz of it or something but I still believe that doesn't make you THE BOSS. Now dear reader right here I'm gonna tell you how everyone is acting like a huge JERK in grade 6. And I'm confused about it, now I do understand people need to swear however..... The people in my class know the n word they also swear deliberately and know a lot about... Um.... Sex..... Anyways I might sound like a huge baby but really? We don't learn this until grade 7 . Also the boys are mostly treating girls like CRAP disrespecting us and bullying us. There are some really nice guys in the class too though. Another thing I have been noticing is a lot of the boys try to pick up girls or try flirting with them. And most of them are showing off how they're taller than me or have more muscles I mean I get you need to " show off'' a bit but really.... There's a guy doing it EVERYDAY. ALL THE TIME. EVERY CAHNCE HE GETS. I can't personally change them but I just need some basic information if this is usual or something. Thanks again

Réponse de l'intervenant

You're wondering if your peers are behaving normally and I would say that they are. It may seem rude and annoying at times,but my guess is that they're just as confused as you. You're right about the puberty issue. You and your friends are at a time in your lives where changes are happening fast and furious to some of you but not so fast to others. Some are feeling self-conscious, others right on schedule, or way behind. It's a difficult time to manage and not everyone knows how to deal with the changes. Does that make sense? Your peers are physically maturing, growing out of their childhood years into their teen years and their teen bodies. But while their bodies are maturing, their brains can be slow to catch up. It takes time. Whether they're showing off their muscles or other body parts, they're feeling proud and want people to notice. The problem is, not everyone cares or wants to hear and see it. How do you tune it out or find a way to let it go? Could you smile and say, "Good for you", or "I'm just not interested"? Would walking away be a better way to handle it? How about opening your book and finding some escape there. What works for you? It's hard to be patient, at the same time you don't have to tolerate any kind of abuse or discrimination. If ever anyone says or does something that crosses a line, it's okay to tell someone like a teacher, principal or counsellor at your school. Everyone is changing yes, but that's never an excuse for disrespectful behaviour. Trust your instincts. You've noticed that not everyone is swearing and showing off, "There are some really nice guys in the class too". I'm glad to hear it. And you're right, the ones that do annoy you, you "can't personally change them". Try your best to ignore or to find a way to live peaceably alongside them. So while it's normal to show off and experiment with new things and test your limits, it's also normal if like yourself, you're just not interested in that kind of attention. We're all different. Sometimes we just have to be patient with the differences around us.